Here’s what’s going on:
- Obama
- Boy, the citizenry is really getting uptight. Here I am trying to steal 1/6th of the US economy and run it for our mutual benefit as ruler and subject, and they go all Chapaquitic on me. We need a plan to divert attention away from my agenda.
- Lloyd Blankfein
- Here’s what we need to do. You should vilify my firm and talk big about some kind of regulation that stops evil bankers with horns from gambling with the public’s wealth.
- Obama
- But Lloyd, we’re pals. I was thinking to go after the oil companies.
- LB
- Silly. Then fuel prices will go up, and you’ll see Sarah Palin out there saying “drill, baby, drill”— we don’t need that. What we need to do is extract wealth from the middle class and make them feel happy about it.
- Obama
- All right; you have my attention.
- LB
- So listen up; here’s what’s crackin’ (is it OK if I say that? I’m just trying to identify with the hood— cool? Great). Like I said, you vilify the banks. Talk about how you want your money back and… you know— do your whole hopey changey schtick. So you create this new regulation, and people think you’re sticking it to the banks, but come on! All you’re going to do is subsidize the crap out of us at taxpayer expense and lower our stock price enough for a leveraged buy out! Then, when we go private, we’ll lever up big time with our implicit backing, buy private islands, donate to your presidency and let the shit hit the fan just in time for the next Republican president.
- Obama
- Now that is the cat’s pajamas, Lloyd. Let’s throw in some stuff about the middle class, private jets and add a heckler to give me that much more gravitas, and call it a week.
